The Art Of Seduction
 

Men have been concerned with the idea of seducing women since ancient times.  For example, the Roman poet Ovid wrote a book on the topic entitled The Art of Love.  In the present day, there are numerous experts in the art of seduction to be found online and in workshops around the country.  One of these experts, Giuseppe Cirillo of Italy, emphasizes that seduction is not so much about "sexual conquest" as it is about "being able to communicate with another person" (Grauman 1).  Thus, Cirillo teaches young men to be able to understand body language and facial expressions, and to use the eyes to express one's self and to appreciate what a woman is thinking.  It is a common misconception that only "handsome" men can pick up women.  However, an average man can appear more handsome through his dress and his actions.  In this regard, "if you believe it, if you radiate it, women will see you that way" (Kita 96).

Men should avoid using stereotypical "pick-up lines" when trying to get to know a woman.  Most women have already heard these lines a million times before and they signal that the man is more interested in sex than in forming a serious, meaningful relationship.  The best way to attract a woman's attention is to use a "neg" – a comment which is "neither a compliment nor an insult," and which is designed to "suggest an intriguing disinterest" (Strauss 9).  A man should not rush the seduction process; if the woman is interested in him, she will show this with a comment or gesture that provides an "indicator of interest" (IOI) (Strauss 9).

Modern-day men can learn a lot about the art of seduction from Casanova, the eighteenth-century lover who was not a particularly attractive man yet was very successful in winning women over.  In the journal Men's Health, Joe Kita has described the "ten principles of sex and seduction" that Casanova used.  These are: (1) make her feel special, (2) create an intimate atmosphere, (3) openly admire her and compliment her, (4) take a sincere interest in her likes and dislikes, (5) get her in the mood by encouraging "decadence" (for example, indulge her with a fancy dessert after dinner), (6) appeal to all of her senses, (7) be patient and don't rush the process, (8) be playful and provocative, (9) be spontaneous, and (10) surprise her with a small but thoughtful gift (Kita 96).  Thus, the art of seduction calls for a mixture of confidence and sensitivity.  In addition, it is important to realize that not all efforts will be successful; if one seduction effort fails, the man needs to be prepared to try again with a different woman.

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